1st week @ home with Honey was probably a challenge for me as in motherhood!
Lack of sleep, breastfeeding, emotions, recovery from birth, roles of being a wife & a mother and lots more.
When baby honey was born, a true sense of loss emerged. I felt she was no longer in me. My possession has left me for a big big world. She is about to experience everything under the sky.
The recovery process was hell!!! The pain that I had gone through. The movement of a threaded needle sewing through my flesh. It was crazy! The phobia has lasted at least for a month. Not too sure if I want to go through this process again.
The facsinating part is to understand my newborn. At the moment, her only form of communication is her cry.
Thank God, our honey is a sweetie pie. She whines only when she's hungry. Otherwise, she is always a cheerful lovely sweetie.
As for my emotions, it was something that I find it hard to control. Weepy Fiona!
Husband has to tolerate my unpredictable mood swing. It was not easy for him. But I guess, this is something that we both have to work on. I expect and demand more from hubby. Poor hubby doesn't know what I want. I don't usually tell him. I thought at least he should learn to be more sensitive to the things happen around him.
If people were to ask if I wanna conceive again, I guess my answer of now is a NO NO NO! Perhaps it wasn't appropriate to ask especially during my unstable emotions.
The past is gone. Let's move on and watch our honey Celestine grows.
July 09, 2007
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